Parenting has never been easy, and approaches to parenting have changed and evolved over time. But in these times we’re in, it seems like the challenges that come with raising a child must be as great as they’ve ever been.
Active Parenting education programs have been around since the early 1980s. They are evidence-based, meaning they use research-backed curriculum that teach techniques and approaches that have been studied and shown to provide benefits including lowering household conflict and improving child behavior.
According to data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC), roughly 40% of U.S. high school students report persistent feelings of sadness & hopelessness. The number is even higher among adolescent girls. This is far from the only data showing how troubling these times are for young people — and by extension, for their parents.
We learn about a series of Active Parenting courses that are starting up soon through the David Lawrence Centers for Behavioral Health in Collier County.
Active Parenting Teens (ages 13-19) helps parents navigate the developmental and emotional changes of adolescence. Parents will learn how to strengthen communication, encourage responsibility through clear choices and consequences, and gain tools to manage conflict, build self-esteem and engage in preventive conversations that support safer, more confident decision-making. The next round of free, virtual classes begin on July 23. Click here to learn more or register.
Active Parenting Now (ages 5-12) focuses on skills that build positive communication, responsibility and emotional well-being. Parents learn effective, non-punitive discipline strategies, ways to redirect misbehavior without power struggles, and practical tools to support self-esteem, school success and strong family relationships. The next round of free, virtual classes begin on Oct. 1. Click here to learn more or register.
Guest:
Jasmine Pagano, Wellness Program Supervisor at the David Lawrence Center (DLC) Wellness Institute
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Transcript created with Copilot. Please forgive any spelling errors or mistranslations.
Mike Kiniry
This is Gulf Coast Life. I'm Mike Kiniry. Thanks for joining us. Active parenting education programs have been around since the early 1980s. They're evidence-based, meaning they use research-backed curriculum that teach techniques and approaches that have been studied and shown to provide benefits, including lowering household conflict and improving child behavior, among others. Parenting has never been easy, and approaches to parenting have changed and evolved over time. But in these times that we're in, it seems like the challenges that come with raising a child, whether young or in their teens, must be as great as they've ever been. According to data from the CDC, almost 40% of high school students report persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness. The number is even higher among adolescent girls. I've heard firsthand reports of these sentiments among college students. This is not the only data showing how troubling these times are for young people, and by extension, for their parents. So today we're going to learn about a series of active parenting courses that are starting up soon through the David Lawrence Centers for Behavioral Health in Collier County. One for parents of teens begins on July 23rd, then another cycle for parents of younger children gets underway on October 1st. Joining me to tell us more is Jasmine Pagano. She's Wellness Program Supervisor at the David Lawrence Center's Wellness Institute. Welcome to the show, Jasmine.
Jasmine Pagano
Thank you. I'm excited to be here.
Mike Kiniry
So for starters, just tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. We were chatting before the show and you've got a lot going on besides working at David Lawrence Centers, it seems.
Jasmine Pagano
So yeah, professionally, I'm the Supervisor of Wellness Programs or the Wellness Program Supervisor at David Lawrence Centers. I'm also an adjunct at Florida Gulf Coast University teaching epidemiology, the study of diseases. And outside of that, I am pursuing a Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership Policy at the University of Florida.
Mike Kiniry
Tell us what that doctorate is in. It's very interesting and in some ways kind of overlaps with the stuff we're talking about.
Jasmine Pagano
Definitely. My dissertation is going to focus on suicide prevention in K through 12 schools.
Mike Kiniry
Gotcha. So when I hear David Lawrence Centers, I think nonprofit mental health and addiction treatment, but clearly it extends beyond that because we're here to talk about active parenting courses. Explain what the David Lawrence Center is and like where you fit into the pie that is it.
Jasmine Pagano
Definitely. So the David Lawrence Center has over 40 programs, both clinical, non-clinical, inpatient, outpatient. Think of it as the three levels of prevention. So primary prevention is supporting individuals before there ever is a problem or a concern. And that's where my team comes in, our Wellness Institute provides resiliency skills, life skills for anybody we can possibly meet. And then that secondary prevention is screenings. So with therapists, counselors, and then treatment, which would be at the tertiary prevention. So we cover all aspects of an individual across the continuum of care. Just like our health ebbs and flow, so does recovery. So whatever support an individual needs, we're going to do that for them.
Mike Kiniry
How long have you been there?
Jasmine Pagano
I've been at DLC for five years.
Mike Kiniry
Five years. When you came here to go to FGCU, was your intention to stay around Southwest Florida or is that just how it turned out?
Jasmine Pagano
Honestly, it's how it turned out. I thought I was going to end up in the Gainesville area, still in Florida, but I ended up falling in love with the Southwest Florida area, so I stayed.
Mike Kiniry
So your PhD must be virtual then?
Jasmine Pagano
It is, yes.
Mike Kiniry
Understood.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes.
Mike Kiniry
So as I said in the intro, these active parenting programs are evidence-based. I guess that means they have formal curriculum. And in my reading, it looks like this is not something that you guys made-up. This is you tapping into something that's been around for 43 years now or something like that. Tell us, just broadly speaking, what they're all about.
Jasmine Pagano
So we have the two programs, Active Parenting of Teens and then Active Parenting Today or Active Parenting Now. It's synonymous, they're the same thing. And we offer them both in English and Spanish. And Both curricula are like age appropriate for the age of the child. So when we're talking about the Active Parenting Teens Program, which starts this Thursday, July 23rd, that one teaches parents how to communicate, avoid communication blocks, and really help their teens, especially when they're starting to have their own independence, make decisions for themselves and support them along the way, as well as talking to them about like risky sexual behaviors, violence prevention, being safe online, and then with our Active Parenting Now, our Active Parenting Today program, that is for younger kiddos, so 5 to 12 years old, we generally say. And that one focuses, again, communication, but more so like the developmental stages of youth. So what are they trying to get out of this behavior? Why are they having a tantrum, if you will? and how can we talk to them in a way that makes sense to them so that they don't do that again. And then it talks a lot about helping them in school, homework time, and again, just being safe in general, making safe choices for themselves.
Mike Kiniry
I know you don't teach these courses and you didn't design the curriculum, but evidence-based means that they've done a bunch of trials out in the real world over many years. I mean, would it be possible for you to say kind of what some of the things are that are in these programs that would differ from what somebody might just do because that's the way it's always been done? One of the words I kept seeing was non-punitive. Is that a big part of it?
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, definitely. So a big reason some of our parents will take the course is because they're like, I want to learn about discipline. However, it is like the curriculum calls it non-violent discipline, but it's non-punitive. So it's really how do we talk to people in a way that humanizes the individual and doesn't necessarily scold the person, but say, hey, we did this, let's learn from it, and how can we do better next time with the youth? So it teaches a lot about different communication skills and different options for making choices. For example, when you do this, then we can do that. Or if you do this, then we can do this to help, especially the younger children. An example of it is when you clean your room, then you can go outside.
Mike Kiniry
Who are these courses for? Are these for parents whose kids have gotten toward the line of needing help from someone like David Lawrence Center, or is this just for all parents?
Jasmine Pagano
It's for all parents. I mean, Being a human being is hard. I like to say whenever we teach the classes, we're all living life for the first time. And I mean, being a parent, you're learning how to help another individual live life for the first time. So it's really for anybody.
Mike Kiniry
Yeah, I think of it as, you know, parenting is constant advice coupled with constant learning, some from the outside world, some from the person you're giving advice to, the little person.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes.
Mike Kiniry
This says next cycle. So these have been offered in the past. Like is this something you guys do annually? Do you know how well they're attended typically, anything like that?
Jasmine Pagano
We have housed the active parenting curricula for at least 10 years. Again, I've been there for five years. So in the five years I've been at David Lawrence Centers, we've continued to do them. Previously, it was essentially every month we were doing them. When I became supervisor, we started doing them quarterly because it was quite overwhelming to try to get as many referrals as possible. So I switched to quarterly because that worked a lot better for individual schedules. And the attendance is on the up and up. We have about 15 registered for the program that starts on Thursday. So I'm really excited for that. And I'm hoping to continue that momentum.
Mike Kiniry
Is it possible to say, or are you even allowed to say whether they are typically attended by one parent or the pair?
Jasmine Pagano
It depends. Sometimes both parents will attend the class and sometimes it's just one.
Mike Kiniry
Is there a cost involved?
Jasmine Pagano
No, it is free. Free virtual Thursdays. It is 6 weeks, so we do expect that the parent comes throughout the six weeks to receive their certificate of completion. They can miss a class, but they'll still have to make it up. We're incredibly understanding of, you know, life happens, emergencies happen. So we do our best to be flexible with the parent, but it is free.
Mike Kiniry
You said when parents come, I mean, it's virtual, so you mean come to their screen at a certain, is it all at a certain time or do you do it on your own time?
Jasmine Pagano
Thursdays from 530 to 730 P.m.
Mike Kiniry
Thursdays from 530 to 730, you log into something like Zoom.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, Zoom.
Mike Kiniry
Is it being taught in real time or is it, so it's being taught in real time? Are you guys providing the instructors or are they provided through the active parenting?
Jasmine Pagano
That's a good question. So I have a team of wellness program specialists, and they're all trained on the curricula to provide it. So they're providing the curriculum live. They're having interactive meetings or sessions, if you will, with the parents. It's a a lot of dialogue back and forth. So we share information with them. We ask about their experiences or what their thoughts are. And then it's really like an ebb and flow conversation back and forth.
Mike Kiniry
You ever heard back or followed somehow with data, parents who've participated in these programs and like how things have turned out down the road?
Jasmine Pagano
We don't necessarily hear how things turn out down the road, but we'll often receive feedback from the parents that it was like a great class, that they really enjoyed it and they gained a lot of skills. They particularly like the lessons about communication because they don't necessarily like think how we frame our words can affect what the youth might do or what the teen might do or say next. Their brains also get really opened up to the different types of parenting. I mean, there's so many different parenting styles. The curriculum focuses on three. But when we talk about like the doormat parent or the dictator parent, they're like, oh no, I've done that before.
Mike Kiniry
I guess those are characteristics that we could picture just from the words that describe them.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, but the goal is to be the active parent, so a happy medium. So freedom within limits is the idea.
Mike Kiniry
When you say non-punitive, I'm wondering if some parents, particularly maybe a bit older, might be like, back in my day, that's not how we did it. You know, how does it address that?
Jasmine Pagano
Yeah, some parents are often like, wait, what do you mean we use our words instead? So we often try to explain that I'm like, come at this with an open mind. Try these new methods and see what they do for your relationship with your child. And sometimes there is a little bit of pushback, but in general, they're pretty open to it. It's pretty cool seeing the growth from week one to week 6.
Mike Kiniry
Do parents ever do the younger kid one and then once their kid gets older, they do the older kid one because they already saw benefit?
Jasmine Pagano
Sometimes what happens, so I don't know if they do it when their kid gets older, but often parents will have multiple children. So they'll do like one. If they have like a teenager, for example, they'll take the teens one, they're like, oh, I love this so much. When's the one for the younger kids? Because they also have a younger child. So then they come back and they'll do the younger version too or their flip-flop.
Mike Kiniry
Kids don't participate, I guess.
Jasmine Pagano
No.
Mike Kiniry
Against the rules.
Jasmine Pagano
It's just the parent.
Mike Kiniry
This is Gulf Coast Life. My guest today is Jasmine Pagano. She's Wellness Program Supervisor at the David Lawrence Center's Wellness Institute. They're ramping up toward their next cycle of evidence-based active parenting programs. The one for parents with teens begins this Thursday, July 23rd. That is Thursday. Then the cycle for parents with younger children is scheduled to begin on October 1st. It's 6 weeks, an hour and a half each time.
Jasmine Pagano
Yeah, about an hour, half, two hours.
Mike Kiniry
And it's free to anyone. Parenting, if I do say so myself, is a never-ending series of lessons provided and received. These programs are evidence-based, meaning they use research-backed curriculum that teach techniques and approaches that have been studied in field trials and shown to lower household conflict and improve child behavior. One of the things, it's kind of like a trope at this point, but I think there's a lot of truth to it. It's the do as I say, not as I do metaphor. Do you have any idea if the programs get into that? Because we, as you said, we're all humans and we all have our things. And so just because suddenly you're a parent doesn't mean you can turn off your things, but you want to teach the kid not to have your things. You know what I mean?
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, For both curriculum, actually, the first lesson called the active parent, mentions the idea of we don't want to use the do as I say, not as I do. With the idea of being an active parent, you want your actions to align with your words. So a big teaching point or a big learning opportunity is the idea that our actions need to align with what we're saying. Especially with younger children, they're going to mirror everything a parent does. They're watching Even somebody brushing their hair, if you give a young child a brush and they've never brushed their hair before, they're probably watching their parent do that. So making sure your actions align with your words is one of the biggest things that we teach and talk about during the curriculum.
Mike Kiniry
One of the strongest metaphors for that are ways of looking at it, I think, is driving. Like, however you drive, we're kind of all anonymous in our cars. We kind of do our things sometimes that we might not do out in the real world. But if your kid's in the backseat, that's how they're going to drive. And that kind of applies to everything that we do as a parent in all things, I think.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes. And with parenting, too, I am not a parent yet. I will get to experience that in October, actually.
Mike Kiniry
Congratulations.
Jasmine Pagano
Thank you. But I am an older sister. So it's the idea of As a parent, you have somebody constantly watching you. As an older sister, I have somebody constantly watching me too. So I need to make sure that my actions align with what I would want my brother to do or how I would want him to grow up. It's the same with being a parent, just like the driving. you want your children to align with those positive, those healthy behaviors to be able to survive and thrive in whatever goals, dreams that they have.
Mike Kiniry
Might you take one of these courses in 5 1/2 years when your kid's old enough, or will you already have been around them enough to have it in you.
Jasmine Pagano
Possibly. I mean, I have not been the student in these classes. I've been the teacher for the past five years. So it'd be interesting being the student.
Mike Kiniry
The courses have been taught in some versions since 1983. We haven't had the internet, you know, in our hands since the late 2000s or late 90s. Does it get into, because I mean, I think we all know that these numbers we hear about mental health problems, among teens is in many ways linked to screen time and social media use. Does it get into that at all?
Jasmine Pagano
The teen version, so the active parenting of teens, talks about social media and social media safety. How can we protect our children and still have them be able to utilize it in a healthy way? For the Active parenting now for the younger ages, it touches briefly on screen time, but it mostly focuses on homework and setting like a schedule, how do we succeed in school, but the teen one focuses more so on the social media aspect.
Mike Kiniry
Does it, I would hope, it would point out that the driving metaphor also applies to screen time. You know, it's like we all, again, have our things, and one of those things is always having one of these phones in our hands. and it's really hard to tell your kid not to always have one if you've got one. Does it talk about that?
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, so there are family enrichment activities at the end of each lesson for both programs. And... Both of them talk in the introductions to the family enrichment activities about the importance of being present with your children. If you're on your phone, like as the parent, if you're on your phone constantly, that sends a message to your children that you're not necessarily present or available for them. So it does mention, both of the curricula talk a lot about making sure that you are present and available for your children, putting your phone down, making sure you have no tech time, if you will. to have that family time with each other.
Mike Kiniry
Your PhD was, again, what are you, you're presenting your thesis soon on what?
Jasmine Pagano
I'm doing my proposal defense to be able to work.
Mike Kiniry
Yes, to be able.
Jasmine Pagano
To listen, if I was at my the end, that'd be really nice, but I've got one more year, so I will be defending my proposal to then be able to move through the official dissertation process next Friday, actually. It is on suicide prevention in K-12 schools, and I'm focusing on teachers having the confidence and ability to support student mental health, as well as identifying teacher-specific trainings, maybe the development of 1, to be able to help them gain those skills.
Mike Kiniry
What brought you to that topic for a PhD? I mean, I know it's all over the place, but so are a lot of things. Like, is that a personal interest? Is that just the road that you've wound up on?
Jasmine Pagano
I actually never envisioned ever being anywhere near mental health, ever.
Mike Kiniry
You studied public health, right?
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, I studied public health and then health education and behavior for my master's. I thought I was going to go to the physical therapy track. And then Life has a funny way of working out. COVID hit. It really forced me to reflect on what my next steps were going to be. So ending up on my doctorate had a lot to do with working at David Lawrence Centers, falling into just overall wellness, mental health as well. And my daughter died by suicide in 2011. So that's a really big personal interest. And my whole philosophy is early intervention is incredibly important. So the more skills that youth have when they're younger, the more resilient they'll be when they're older. And then the idea of like, it takes a village. So having supportive adults, there were so many teachers when I grew up that had a huge impact on me. So I would hope that we can still instill that in our teachers to be able to motivate and support our youth.
Mike Kiniry
So back to the courses. There's 6 weekly two-hour sessions. The first one starts on July 23rd. Is there a limit to the number of people who can register or is it just as many people sign up and sign up and it's free?
Jasmine Pagano
Yeah, as many people that sign up, the more the merrier. It makes the conversation a lot more fruitful too.
Mike Kiniry
So it's two-way.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, it is.
Mike Kiniry
You're talking, you're participating.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes.
Mike Kiniry
How does somebody get involved? Like what's the best way? Just go to the website, click a link.
Jasmine Pagano
Yeah, so we have our David Lawrence Center's website. If you go to dlcenters.org slash events, it'll pop up on the events page as an event that can be registered for. And then I receive the registration. I send a follow-up e-mail saying, I received a registration, get excited. They can also e-mail me directly. And they can also visit just the David Lawrence Center's website directly and click down on the Wellness Institute page and they'll find information on the parenting.
Mike Kiniry
And we'll have links to all that on our website.
Jasmine Pagano
Perfect.
Mike Kiniry
If you don't get signed up by the first week, are you out? You got to get started all on July 23rd.
Jasmine Pagano
Yeah, we generally have people, we give them the option. So if they sign up a week later, then we say, if you would like to participate, you'll have to silk the first lesson before our next meeting, or here's information on the next cycle. But generally, you've got to sign up by the first session. With that, though, they're available months in advance on the website.
Mike Kiniry
And the next one for the younger kids is what, October 1st?
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, and it's already on our website. And we've already got a few registrations, which is super exciting.
Mike Kiniry
My last question is, I read a story about you at the bottom of which you answered some questions. One of which was, what's the best career advice you've ever received? And you said, the best career advice I've ever received is that things don't always go as planned. Go with the flow allows opportunities to unfold naturally. A, who gave you that advice?
Jasmine Pagano
One of my professors, actually.
Mike Kiniry
At FGCU.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes, Dr. Amy Lehigh.
Mike Kiniry
Okay.
Jasmine Pagano
Yes.
Mike Kiniry
And I thought, B, that seems like great advice for parents, too.
Jasmine Pagano
It is great advice for parents, actually. I think it can apply to a lot of things. That advice was actually really hard for me to take. I'm incredibly type A. For the longest time, I had all these plans and I was going to do them. And I've still, you know, gotten to graduate school and done what I wanted to do, just not doing the original plan, if you will. But I never believed people when they say go with the flow and things can change. But Sometimes you got to go with the flow. And that's exactly how parenting probably is. I would guess is you try one thing and you're like, well, that didn't work out. So then we try, again.
Mike Kiniry
Jasmine Pagano is Wellness Program Supervisor at the David Lawrence Center's Wellness Institute. Thank you so much for coming in to talk with me, Jasmine.
Jasmine Pagano
Thank you. This was an incredible opportunity. I appreciate you.
Mike Kiniry
And best of luck to you.
Jasmine Pagano
Thank you so much.
Transcript created with Copilot. Please forgive any spelling errors or mistranslations.
